I don’t like new schools. I don’t like having to make friends. I’m just no good at it. I get myself all worked up. I ate my lunch in my car by myself because I don’t know anyone and I’m WAY too shy to go up and talk to anyone. I know I don’t look like the most approachable person either because I’m usually walking pretty fast and staring at the ground praying that I don’t see someone I sort of know because, then, I’d have to have a really awkward conversation which would probably end with me saying something amazingly more awkward, half laughing, and walk away, only to over analyze the ENTIRE scene on my walk to class or the car.

Today, in chem lab, the teacher said we could work in pairs and guess what, there was an odd number of people in that class so guess who was stuck without a partner and doing the entire thing by myself looking like an idiot because I didn’t have enough courage to ask one of the groups if i could join their group. Right before I left however, a girl across from me noticed that I was alone and said I could go into her group but, since I was almost done I said “no thanks, I’m almost done anyways” and sounded like an asshole when in reality I had been DYING waiting for someone to ask me into their group like a 5 year old. I’m 19 years old. This is my third year of college. I’m shocked that I still act this way. Freshman year it was a lot easier. In fact all of my friends were made, basically, through my roommate who is just an amazingly outgoing/friendly person and I just attached onto those friends like a leech (sp?) When I think about it now its actually quite depressing but whatever. Since this was only my second day of school, hopefully it can only get better from here.

Wish me luck!